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Saturday, May 3, 2008

Hearts, Flowers, and Cold Hard Facts

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
 As a relationship progresses, it's tempting to pretend everything's OK even when it isn't. It may be embarrassing to end a relationship when you've told all your friends that this is "The One," but that's a whole lot better than ending up sad, betrayed, and/or broke. Some questions to ask yourself, while you're reveling in the new romance: -- Do I know my partner's past? Someone who doesn't seem to have a history may be concealing a spouse -- or a prison record. -- Have I met my partner's friends, roommates, or family? You don't need to have dinner at Mom's every Sunday, but someone who doesn't seem to have any social contacts may be married and cheating, or may be isolating you from people who know his or her real story. -- Does my partner express anger appropriately? Everyone gets frustrated sometimes. If your partner's anger is out of control, doesn't seem to subside, or if you're somehow the one apologizing every time, there's a pattern of control going on. -- Does this person seem to be making the relationship a priority? Some people genuinely have tough schedules. Or you may be dating a "player" who is concealing other loves. -- Does this person seem to rely on alcohol or drugs? An active addict (one who is still using) will ALWAYS put the addiction ahead of everything else. -- Are words of love accompanied by real listening and consideration for your needs? -- Has this person asked you for money? -- Does this person blame others for all his or her troubles? -- Does this person put you down?

Don't Let Love Tear Apart (What Lust Has Brought Together)

Cold Hard Facts of Life
Hearts, Flowers, and Cold Hard FactsSocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Abusive Personality

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
There are signs that can help you spot someone with an abusive personality. The earlier you become aware of these red flags, the easier it is to get out of the relationship. Take notice if the person you are involved with displays the following abusive personality traits. Extreme jealousy or possessiveness Pushes for quick and intense involvement Seems too good to be true Blames others for actions Needs to be in control Unrealistic expectations of the relationship Easily upset or angered Inability to respect partner's boundaries, privacy, need for separate activities or identity History of violent behavior Signs of an Abusive Personality Dating should be a fun experience. To make sure you're enjoying yourself, while staying safe, be aware of common signs in people with abusive personalities. If you're using an online dating service, look for these types of traits in possible matches: Extreme jealousy or possessiveness Pushes for quick and intense involvement Seems too good to be true Needs to be in control Unrealistic expectations of the relationship Easily upset or angered

The Abusive Personality, Second Edition: Violence and Control in Intimate Relati
Abusive PersonalitySocialTwist Tell-a-Friend